June 15, 2010 Fresh Bread! ...yeah, right.

Have you ever said to yourself, "Gee, I love the smell of fresh-baked bread.  I think I'll try making it myself"?  Well, I have...numerous times.  I get the flour and the yeast and promise myself I'll do it.  But I never do.  I'm a procrastinator extraordinaire!

Now, I have these months-old, maybe even years-old packets of baker's yeast in the cupboard that expired long ago and are useless now.  Or are they?  I asked my mother what she would do.  She replied that if I wanted to try to use old yeast, I should double up on the amount.  Okay.  I can do that.

I got out my beautiful, 3-ring binder-style cookbook that Mom gave me and starting going through the fridge finding all the stuff I needed.  Now, since I'm a "glutard" and a "lactard" (credit to my friend Melissa for that terminology), I have to be careful what I put into my recipes and substitute a lot.  So, this would be an experiment in more ways than one.

Using buckwheat flour (which is a dark brown, gluten-free flour) and totally expired yeast, I made half the recipe the book called for, so as to minimize the devastation should things go awry.  I followed the instructions (mostly) and let the dough "rise" (Hef would shake his head in pity).  I kneaded the dough and formed it, and into the oven it went.  I timed the baking, and after a while it actually started smelling really good in the kitchen and throughout the house.  Out of the oven came the dark French loaf, and it was set out on the stove to cool.  A little time to cool, and I just couldn't wait any longer.  Hold that thought.

Did I mention that I made oven-baked "fried" chicken for dinner at my son's request?  It was really delicious!  It was tender and juicy and very well seasoned.  So tasty!  Distracted enough?  Good.

Back to the bread.  I was so excited to try my first taste of the bread.  I sliced a piece with that fabulous smell steaming off of the pan, a lovely crispy crust on the outside and a soft, hearty center, and took a bite.  It was pretty good... well, it was all right... Okay, it was horrible!  This is the nastiest bread I've tasted since I tried one of those commercially-produced gluten-free breads.  I don't think even starving birds would eat this crap.

Needless to say, this experiment was a supreme failure.  BUT that won't stop me from trying again.  In fact, as I close this entry, I have yet another experiment, using a different kind of flour, waiting for me in the kitchen.

The moral of this story is the same as so many others:  If at first you don't succeed, go get fresh ingredients and try again.  But whatever you do, don't eat the Frankenbread.