Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A Dish Made in Heaven

Here is a one-act play that I've just written for one of my literature classes at Our Lady of Holy Cross College.  It seems an appropriate fit for my blog, so please, enjoy. AM

A Dish Made in Heaven (A one-act play)

Hungrietta (a hungry girl)                                          Spaghetti (delicious)
Lasagna (delicious but complicated)                         Russet Mash (very soft and comforting)
Chip (fast and easy)                                                 Salade (very healthy)

The home of Hungrietta.  After a lifetime friendship, she has fallen in love with Spaghetti, who loves her back. 

Scene I
Hungrietta:  (stands at stove)  Oh, Spaghetti.  I've always loved you, and tonight I can't help but think I will want you forever.

Spaghetti:  (steaming)  I feel the same way about you, Hungrietta.  All I want is to satisfy you.  I don't expect much, just a pot of boiling water and a little ground turkey and tomato sauce.  You make me so happy.  Let's get married.

Hungrietta:  Yes!  Oh, yes, Spaghetti.  I will marry you.  We can be so happy together.  I know that we'll never be apart.  We shall become one.  Let's do it tonight.

Spaghetti:  Tonight?  Of course!  Why wait?  I'm easy.  You can have me within the hour!

Scene II
{Hungrietta sits on the couch with Chip, watching TV.  Enter Spaghetti.}

Spaghetti:  (angrily)  What's going on here?

Hungrietta:  Oh, Spaghetti.  You're a little early.

Spaghetti:  Really?  It looks as though I'm here just in time.  I'll ask again.  What's going on here?

Hungrietta:  It meant nothing!  I was just, and you weren't ready yet. 

Spaghetti:  I was only going to take an hour!!

Hungrietta:  I know!  I just... I just couldn't wait.

Chip:  Hey, man.  She just needed a little bit to tide her over.  It's not like I'm the main deal or anything.  She always ends up with you.  She just uses me to get to you.

Spaghetti:  You've ruined EVERYTHING!  How can we be joined together when you've been having somebody else?

Hungrietta:  Oh, Spaghetti, forgive me, please!  It was just a little bit.  He didn't even satisfy me.  You're the one I really want.

Spaghetti:  I don't know, Hungrietta.  I feel so betrayed.

{exeunt all}

Scene III
{The next day, at the breakfast table.  Hungrietta sits down to eat her eggs with a friend, Russet Mash.}

Russet Mash:  So, what did he say?

Hungrietta:  (sobbing) He said he couldn't be with me after I'd had somebody else.  I don't know what to do, Russet.  I can't live without him.  I have to have my Spaghetti.

Russet Mash:  He's just too hot right now, but he'll cool off.  You know he loves you.

Hungrietta:  I don't know.  He was SO angry.  What will I do?

Russet Mash:  Well, if he does leave you, there's always Lasagna.

Hungrietta:  Ugh!  That drama queen?  He's so high maintenance!  I'd have to spend the rest of my life working twice as hard for essentially the same result. 

Russet Mash:  But you know he looks so good!  Even if their flavors are the same, his presentation is really something, you must admit.

Hungrietta:  It's not always about LOOKS, Russet!  Spaghetti is comfortable.  I know I can be myself with him.  Lasagna always has to have things just so.  It's exhausting.  The perfectly coiffed noodles, the layers.  Don't even get me started on the cheesiness.  I mean, sometimes I don't want to deal with all that cheesiness.

Russet Mash:  Well, you just hang in there.  Whatever happens, I'll be here to comfort you.  You know that.

Hungrietta:  Thanks, Russet.  That means a lot to me.  I know I can always count on you.  

Scene IV
{Back in the kitchen, Hungrietta, Spaghetti and Chip are trying to work things out.}

Chip:  Hungrietta, you know I love you, even though you keep leaving me coming back to me.  I'm willing to accept your love on whatever level you let me.  I don't care, as long as I'm a part of your life.

Hungrietta:  Chip, you know that's not going to work.  You're no good for me.  You're just so hard to resist.  Sometimes I feel so weak.  (to Spaghetti) And that's all that happened the other night, my dearest Spaghetti.  I was weak.  I still love you best.

Spaghetti:  I'm not angry anymore.  I just wonder if you can resist the urge in the future.  If we get married, how do I know you won't be weak again?

Hungrietta:  You don't.  You'll just have to trust that our love will satisfy me enough that I won't need Chip anymore.

Chip:  Hey, I'm right here, you know.

Hungrietta:  Sorry, Chip, but you know this is the truth.  I need someone more substantial.  What we've had is fun, but it's not meant to last.  It was only a fling.. or two.. or seven.  You don't even usually last that long, but the damage stays with me.  What we have is a toxic relationship.

Chip:  If you feel that way, then maybe I should leave!

Hungrietta:  That's probably best.  Goodbye, Chip.  And good luck!

{Chip, crushed, storms out.}

Hungrietta:  Now, Spaghetti, you need to decide.  Are we going to become one, or do I have to give up on you.  I want you to be a part of me.

Spaghetti:  Oh, Hungrietta, darling.  I love you so much.  We shall be together.

{A knock is heard at the door.  Hungrietta answers it.}

Salade:  Good evening, Ma'am.  Sorry to disturb you, but we've had reports of some unhealthy activity in this neighborhood.  I'm here to find out if you've seen someone described as white, salty, generally round and prone to cracking up...answers to the name of Chip.

Hungrietta:  (Looks at Spaghetti, gasps) 

The End

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